My writings are as eclectic as my personality. That IS the story of my life. I do not fit into any single category and neither does my writing.
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FEAR OUR MOTIVATION


In our youth, we can’t wait ’til we’re older
as adults, we seek magic back to youth
Our children, whom we hush as too naïve
the elderly, described “too long in tooth.”

In our quest to attain Godly wisdom
our innocence which leads us there, is lost
The very things we hold as lacking value
in the end, what we strive for, at all cost.

We think we’re so clever we can cheat time
if we hurry, much more we will achieve
Think much, we accomplished, in a short while
think we can conquer death ‘fore we must leave?

But the unknowns, we know not their meaning
because we’re not as clever as we think
So grab hold, what precious time you’re given
it will be gone from us in an eye’s blink.

Beauty of an early morning’s sunrise
darkest skies of midnight, stirred back to light
Springtime brings us hope, yet still reminds us
once again, we’ll return to skies of night.

Temporary stepping stones, our lives here
our next life, brings all answers we have sought
While the new rose brings to life its glory
let us not forget, the message it has brought.

We are not Gods, nor are we fit for heaven
we are the heathens of our woeful ways
Shamelessly, we treat our fellow humans
repenting only, in our final days.

Think God’s fooled, to false knowledge, we have changed
in our hearts or minds, now tho’ death is near?
Think he knows not, what now motivates us
think God knows not, our motivation – Fear!

Written/All Copyrights Retained by: O’Della Wilson AKA Alhavakia July 3, 2006
FEAR OUR MOTIVATION In our youth, we can’t wait ’til we’re older as adults, we seek magic back to youth Our children, whom we hush as too naïve the elderly, described “too long in tooth.” In our quest to attain Godly wisdom our innocence which leads us there, is lost The very things we hold as lacking value in the end, what we strive for, at all cost. We think we’re so clever we can cheat time if we hurry, much more we will achieve Think much, we accomplished, in a short while think we can conquer death ‘fore we must leave? But the unknowns, we know not their meaning because we’re not as clever as we think So grab hold, what precious time you’re given it will be gone from us in an eye’s blink. Beauty of an early morning’s sunrise darkest skies of midnight, stirred back to light Springtime brings us hope, yet still reminds us once again, we’ll return to skies of night. Temporary stepping stones, our lives here our next life, brings all answers we have sought While the new rose brings to life its glory let us not forget, the message it has brought. We are not Gods, nor are we fit for heaven we are the heathens of our woeful ways Shamelessly, we treat our fellow humans repenting only, in our final days. Think God’s fooled, to false knowledge, we have changed in our hearts or minds, now tho’ death is near? Think he knows not, what now motivates us think God knows not, our motivation – Fear! Written/All Copyrights Retained by: O’Della Wilson AKA Alhavakia July 3, 2006
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  • This is another challenge poem. Can you figure out what the challenge was? I hope you enjoy.

    SUPERBALL

    Like an echo
    off a canyon wall
    feelings long forgotten came
    bouncing back.
    Vivid colors
    my emotions become
    burnt-ish orange of
    dreams forgotten,
    shades of blue
    childhood friends Parted
    among the whites of
    clouds within my mind.
    Red reminding me of blood
    sisters we became. Forgotten
    now.
    Yet tomorrow’s bursts of
    bright yellow and deepish
    Purple lightning bolts
    dance behind my eyes
    Closed.
    An open mind
    flamingo flames
    light the ideas
    brought forth with a vengeance,
    the clash of which is
    deafening the quiet.
    But for today
    I remain
    slumbering within
    Grandma’s attic chest
    another forgotten
    Superball.

    Written/Copyrights Retained by O'Della Wilson AKA Alhavakia
    Jan 07 2010

    This is another challenge poem. Can you figure out what the challenge was? I hope you enjoy. SUPERBALL Like an echo off a canyon wall feelings long forgotten came bouncing back. Vivid colors my emotions become burnt-ish orange of dreams forgotten, shades of blue childhood friends Parted among the whites of clouds within my mind. Red reminding me of blood sisters we became. Forgotten now. Yet tomorrow’s bursts of bright yellow and deepish Purple lightning bolts dance behind my eyes Closed. An open mind flamingo flames light the ideas brought forth with a vengeance, the clash of which is deafening the quiet. But for today I remain slumbering within Grandma’s attic chest another forgotten Superball. Written/Copyrights Retained by O'Della Wilson AKA Alhavakia Jan 07 2010
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  • FEAR OUR MOTIVATION


    In our youth, we can’t wait ’til we’re older
    as adults, we seek magic back to youth
    Our children, whom we hush as too naïve
    the elderly, described “too long in tooth.”

    In our quest to attain Godly wisdom
    our innocence which leads us there, is lost
    The very things we hold as lacking value
    in the end, what we strive for, at all cost.

    We think we’re so clever we can cheat time
    if we hurry, much more we will achieve
    Think much, we accomplished, in a short while
    think we can conquer death ‘fore we must leave?

    But the unknowns, we know not their meaning
    because we’re not as clever as we think
    So grab hold, what precious time you’re given
    it will be gone from us in an eye’s blink.

    Beauty of an early morning’s sunrise
    darkest skies of midnight, stirred back to light
    Springtime brings us hope, yet still reminds us
    once again, we’ll return to skies of night.

    Temporary stepping stones, our lives here
    our next life, brings all answers we have sought
    While the new rose brings to life its glory
    let us not forget, the message it has brought.

    We are not Gods, nor are we fit for heaven
    we are the heathens of our woeful ways
    Shamelessly, we treat our fellow humans
    repenting only, in our final days.

    Think God’s fooled, to false knowledge, we have changed
    in our hearts or minds, now tho’ death is near?
    Think he knows not, what now motivates us
    think God knows not, our motivation – Fear!

    Written/All Copyrights Retained by: O’Della Wilson AKA Alhavakia July 3, 2006
    FEAR OUR MOTIVATION In our youth, we can’t wait ’til we’re older as adults, we seek magic back to youth Our children, whom we hush as too naïve the elderly, described “too long in tooth.” In our quest to attain Godly wisdom our innocence which leads us there, is lost The very things we hold as lacking value in the end, what we strive for, at all cost. We think we’re so clever we can cheat time if we hurry, much more we will achieve Think much, we accomplished, in a short while think we can conquer death ‘fore we must leave? But the unknowns, we know not their meaning because we’re not as clever as we think So grab hold, what precious time you’re given it will be gone from us in an eye’s blink. Beauty of an early morning’s sunrise darkest skies of midnight, stirred back to light Springtime brings us hope, yet still reminds us once again, we’ll return to skies of night. Temporary stepping stones, our lives here our next life, brings all answers we have sought While the new rose brings to life its glory let us not forget, the message it has brought. We are not Gods, nor are we fit for heaven we are the heathens of our woeful ways Shamelessly, we treat our fellow humans repenting only, in our final days. Think God’s fooled, to false knowledge, we have changed in our hearts or minds, now tho’ death is near? Think he knows not, what now motivates us think God knows not, our motivation – Fear! Written/All Copyrights Retained by: O’Della Wilson AKA Alhavakia July 3, 2006
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  • Some of you will understand the irony of this poem. It crept into my mind in the middle of the night. I had to get up and write it down, so my brain would allow me to go back to sleep. Five months later my own son would be wrongfully convicted of Capital Murder. It took fifteen years of fighting, but he is finally free.

    MY DADDY

    Mommy please don’t look so sad
    it’s not really all that bad
    My daddy they won’t take away
    they know we need him here each day
    A letter to God, I wrote post haste
    I said, we have no time to waste
    You see they say my dad did wrong
    A long, long time he will be gone
    I know my dad is not that way
    he’d never do the things they say
    Mommy please make them understand
    my daddy, he’s really a good man
    She said, Sweetheart it’s out of my hands
    We must pray a miracle, God sends
    For nothing else will stop the fate
    that’s been handed down this date
    She says they chose some people who
    will decide just what to do
    A panel made up of his peers
    they won’t understand she fears
    She don’t know what they’ll decide
    I told her, “mommy please don’t cry”
    God will take care of it you’ll see
    he’ll bring my daddy back to me.

    Written/Copyrights Retained by: O’Della Wilson AKA Alhavakia
    9-14-99

    Author’s note: For every father wrongfully convicted, there is a child or children left behind to wonder, and suffer the consequences. On average ten years will be wasted away, while the innocent moves mountains [and with a little luck, gets a good attorney] to prove his innocence.
    Some of you will understand the irony of this poem. It crept into my mind in the middle of the night. I had to get up and write it down, so my brain would allow me to go back to sleep. Five months later my own son would be wrongfully convicted of Capital Murder. It took fifteen years of fighting, but he is finally free. MY DADDY Mommy please don’t look so sad it’s not really all that bad My daddy they won’t take away they know we need him here each day A letter to God, I wrote post haste I said, we have no time to waste You see they say my dad did wrong A long, long time he will be gone I know my dad is not that way he’d never do the things they say Mommy please make them understand my daddy, he’s really a good man She said, Sweetheart it’s out of my hands We must pray a miracle, God sends For nothing else will stop the fate that’s been handed down this date She says they chose some people who will decide just what to do A panel made up of his peers they won’t understand she fears She don’t know what they’ll decide I told her, “mommy please don’t cry” God will take care of it you’ll see he’ll bring my daddy back to me. Written/Copyrights Retained by: O’Della Wilson AKA Alhavakia 9-14-99 Author’s note: For every father wrongfully convicted, there is a child or children left behind to wonder, and suffer the consequences. On average ten years will be wasted away, while the innocent moves mountains [and with a little luck, gets a good attorney] to prove his innocence.
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  • A MEASURE OF SUCCESS


    For one to be successful
    in any given field
    You must first discover
    how the soul to heal
    Before that lesson learned
    or to be applied
    the painful wounds before
    we must realize
    Equal oppositions weighed
    in subtle contrast
    with only the pass’n of time
    anything to last
    Each passing day to bring
    us, closer to an end
    and a new existence
    beginning once again
    Collectively old wounds
    new energies become
    all merging, complimenting
    becoming only one
    Individuality
    identities retain
    separate, yet only one
    in the end to feign
    Past pain be resolved
    yet forgotten not
    embraced with acceptance
    understanding sought
    Creativity to be
    a measure of success?
    Success being but
    a measure of our best?
    Surely such a measure
    would hold inequity
    no opposition, contradiction
    nor equality
    Only when we find
    where death blends life anew
    Can success equate
    a measure that is true
    All negatives summed up
    a positive, no less
    Creatively, the irony
    our failures' — our success.

    Written/Copyrights Retained by: O’Della Wilson AKA Alhavakia
    ©January 27, 2005
    A MEASURE OF SUCCESS For one to be successful in any given field You must first discover how the soul to heal Before that lesson learned or to be applied the painful wounds before we must realize Equal oppositions weighed in subtle contrast with only the pass’n of time anything to last Each passing day to bring us, closer to an end and a new existence beginning once again Collectively old wounds new energies become all merging, complimenting becoming only one Individuality identities retain separate, yet only one in the end to feign Past pain be resolved yet forgotten not embraced with acceptance understanding sought Creativity to be a measure of success? Success being but a measure of our best? Surely such a measure would hold inequity no opposition, contradiction nor equality Only when we find where death blends life anew Can success equate a measure that is true All negatives summed up a positive, no less Creatively, the irony our failures' — our success. Written/Copyrights Retained by: O’Della Wilson AKA Alhavakia ©January 27, 2005
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  • WHEN I LOOK INTO HER EYES: A CHRISTMAS POEM


    A little boy
    in tattered clothes
    waited his turn in line

    He knew their stares
    were all on him
    and with that, he was fine

    He understood
    their differences
    and truly, didn’t care

    His mission here
    was bigger than
    all others even dare

    Moving closer
    the line grew short
    his wait was soon to end

    Rehearsing words
    inside his head
    when Santa said again

    Young man come forth
    my time is short
    there’s many waiting here

    Tell me what gift
    you hope to get
    on Christmas morn this year

    You see Santa
    there’s just one gift
    I need to make things right

    A love so great
    no gift to match
    my one request tonight

    It’s for my mom
    her life’s been hard
    her pain’s too much to bare

    I wish her pain
    to be my own
    deny me, if you dare

    No other gift
    this year I seek
    be placed under my tree

    This one request
    I ask of you
    please give this gift to me

    I’ll gladly take
    NO, proud I’d be
    to bare her pain with pride

    If you’d just talk
    to God above
    he’ll know you’re on my side

    You see, I tried
    but fear his plan
    was made before my birth

    For answer not
    my prayers to him
    to leave her here on earth

    I ask not much
    just a few years
    enough to raise me right

    I’d even trade
    my toys and bike
    or even trade my sight

    Then Santa said
    Whoa not so fast
    That’s quite a big request

    I’ll need some time
    I’ll talk to him
    I’ll do my very best

    Then with a wink
    the boy said thanks
    and jumped down from his lap

    This Christmas gift
    will be the best
    no need to even wrap

    I’ll know he heard
    the words you spoke
    when Christmas morn I rise

    I’ll see her love
    witness no pain
    when I look into her eyes.
    Written by: O’Della Wilson AKA Alhavakia
    Copyright December 04, 2007
    WHEN I LOOK INTO HER EYES: A CHRISTMAS POEM A little boy in tattered clothes waited his turn in line He knew their stares were all on him and with that, he was fine He understood their differences and truly, didn’t care His mission here was bigger than all others even dare Moving closer the line grew short his wait was soon to end Rehearsing words inside his head when Santa said again Young man come forth my time is short there’s many waiting here Tell me what gift you hope to get on Christmas morn this year You see Santa there’s just one gift I need to make things right A love so great no gift to match my one request tonight It’s for my mom her life’s been hard her pain’s too much to bare I wish her pain to be my own deny me, if you dare No other gift this year I seek be placed under my tree This one request I ask of you please give this gift to me I’ll gladly take NO, proud I’d be to bare her pain with pride If you’d just talk to God above he’ll know you’re on my side You see, I tried but fear his plan was made before my birth For answer not my prayers to him to leave her here on earth I ask not much just a few years enough to raise me right I’d even trade my toys and bike or even trade my sight Then Santa said Whoa not so fast That’s quite a big request I’ll need some time I’ll talk to him I’ll do my very best Then with a wink the boy said thanks and jumped down from his lap This Christmas gift will be the best no need to even wrap I’ll know he heard the words you spoke when Christmas morn I rise I’ll see her love witness no pain when I look into her eyes. Written by: O’Della Wilson AKA Alhavakia Copyright December 04, 2007
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  • EVIDENCE


    I have walked many roads alone
    where the soft sound of footsteps went unheard
    some were paved of soft stone
    while others, untouched, were raw earth

    No footprints could be seen
    even though, the ground was wet with dew
    and while my weight was lean
    you’d think to find at least a few

    Although I must admit to know
    the steps that went unseen
    were always there to show
    as Christ gave me, his arms to lean

    As my body, tired and torn
    collapsed upon the cradle of his arms
    again I am reborn
    his kiss has sealed the bond.

    So while the footprints went unseen
    no trace was left behind to spot
    the evidence, was there to glean
    with eyes of love, if his is sought.

    Written/Copyrights Retained by O’Della Wilson AKA Alhavakia
    #Poem #Poetry #Evidence #Inspiration
    EVIDENCE I have walked many roads alone where the soft sound of footsteps went unheard some were paved of soft stone while others, untouched, were raw earth No footprints could be seen even though, the ground was wet with dew and while my weight was lean you’d think to find at least a few Although I must admit to know the steps that went unseen were always there to show as Christ gave me, his arms to lean As my body, tired and torn collapsed upon the cradle of his arms again I am reborn his kiss has sealed the bond. So while the footprints went unseen no trace was left behind to spot the evidence, was there to glean with eyes of love, if his is sought. Written/Copyrights Retained by O’Della Wilson AKA Alhavakia #Poem #Poetry #Evidence #Inspiration
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  • TASTE OF NATURE


    With my eyes closed
    head tilted back
    I could see
    the beauty of
    a cloudless sky.

    The breeze flowing
    ever so gently
    made the hair
    on my arms
    dance like ballerinas
    on tippy toes.

    Aroma of fresh
    cut grass penetrating
    deep within my lungs
    passing over a
    palette of taste buds
    eager to burst
    making me hungry.

    Reaching within
    the darkest recesses
    of my sensibilities
    the moment took hold.
    The taste of nature
    was taking over
    rather quickly, too.

    I could taste
    the nectar of
    fragrant flowers as
    it flowed
    like a river
    washing away
    the sediment of
    prior flavors entertained
    as though my throat
    were a naked child
    still innocent to life.

    Ahhh…the lovely taste
    of nature.

    ©July 22, 2006 Written/Copyrights Retained by: O’Della Wilson AKA Alhavakia
    TASTE OF NATURE With my eyes closed head tilted back I could see the beauty of a cloudless sky. The breeze flowing ever so gently made the hair on my arms dance like ballerinas on tippy toes. Aroma of fresh cut grass penetrating deep within my lungs passing over a palette of taste buds eager to burst making me hungry. Reaching within the darkest recesses of my sensibilities the moment took hold. The taste of nature was taking over rather quickly, too. I could taste the nectar of fragrant flowers as it flowed like a river washing away the sediment of prior flavors entertained as though my throat were a naked child still innocent to life. Ahhh…the lovely taste of nature. ©July 22, 2006 Written/Copyrights Retained by: O’Della Wilson AKA Alhavakia
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  • I WATCH


    I watch her, undetected
    the delicate outline of her face
    enveloped in a golden halo
    as the rays of sunlight peek
    through her window.

    My eyes swell with a crystal
    liquid that glistens
    as it spills off my cheek.


    So many things I had hoped
    my precious, innocent daughter
    would experience in her lifetime
    dashed the opportunities
    that should have been hers.


    I see such pain in her eyes
    at times, I want to scream out
    but dare not.


    What longings she desires
    she had hidden well
    by actions, for the most part.


    But, then the song comes
    on the radio – I see
    her longing to know
    a normal life


    To be able to do simple things
    would she ever know a first date?
    Would she ever know the love
    only a man has for a woman?


    I watch as she sits
    so exquisitely quiet
    eyes of innocence
    filled with curious wonder


    I watch, as she watches
    other girls
    with an innocent smile
    she greets them
    yet they fear her


    I watch as my heart
    squeezed with agony
    my longings for her
    can not be so painful
    as her own must be.


    Her cheeks flushed
    just a hint of pink
    red pouty lips
    the hypnotic green, gold eyes
    surrounded by thick darkness
    lashes excessively long.


    I watch the quiet beauty
    of my daughter, her sadness
    but quickly the look fades
    as clouds dissipate with
    a wind blown sky
    she has spotted me


    Veiling her longing
    to live a normal life
    she feins a smile
    as I watch.


    Quickly, I must flee
    her room, her sight
    out of earshot
    I hear the agonizing moan
    not even the knot
    over filling my throat
    to cause physical pain
    can quiet
    it is coming from me,
    not her. Impatiently
    I await the redness
    to clear my swollen eyes
    then rush to her side
    I hug her, probably
    squeezing too tight


    I love you Doll
    I tell her
    as I watch
    and wait for our miracle.

    2010 Written/All Copyrights Retained by:

    O’Della Wilson AKA Alhavakia AKA TheGoSeeGirl
    #Poem #Poetry #IntractableEpilepsy #RefractoryEpilepsy
    I WATCH I watch her, undetected the delicate outline of her face enveloped in a golden halo as the rays of sunlight peek through her window. My eyes swell with a crystal liquid that glistens as it spills off my cheek. So many things I had hoped my precious, innocent daughter would experience in her lifetime dashed the opportunities that should have been hers. I see such pain in her eyes at times, I want to scream out but dare not. What longings she desires she had hidden well by actions, for the most part. But, then the song comes on the radio – I see her longing to know a normal life To be able to do simple things would she ever know a first date? Would she ever know the love only a man has for a woman? I watch as she sits so exquisitely quiet eyes of innocence filled with curious wonder I watch, as she watches other girls with an innocent smile she greets them yet they fear her I watch as my heart squeezed with agony my longings for her can not be so painful as her own must be. Her cheeks flushed just a hint of pink red pouty lips the hypnotic green, gold eyes surrounded by thick darkness lashes excessively long. I watch the quiet beauty of my daughter, her sadness but quickly the look fades as clouds dissipate with a wind blown sky she has spotted me Veiling her longing to live a normal life she feins a smile as I watch. Quickly, I must flee her room, her sight out of earshot I hear the agonizing moan not even the knot over filling my throat to cause physical pain can quiet it is coming from me, not her. Impatiently I await the redness to clear my swollen eyes then rush to her side I hug her, probably squeezing too tight I love you Doll I tell her as I watch and wait for our miracle. 2010 Written/All Copyrights Retained by: O’Della Wilson AKA Alhavakia AKA TheGoSeeGirl #Poem #Poetry #IntractableEpilepsy #RefractoryEpilepsy
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  • EMERALD GREEN EYES


    Caught in a veil of
    Emerald green,
    I am hypnotized.
    As was the fly
    Trapped in a
    Spider’s web,
    I too, am a victim.
    The long dark
    Spider legs of
    Black lashes,
    Fluttering faster then
    Bumble Bee wings,
    Vibrate in my stomach.
    Nervous fear of
    Anticipation,
    Lock my eyes
    To her own.
    The dual polarity of
    Magnets,
    Emerald green
    Pushing me away
    Luring me in.
    The irony of
    Duplicity, confines me
    Binding the windows of
    My soul
    To her own.
    The sweep of
    Black velvet lashes,
    Envelop my will.
    Victim, I am held,
    Intoxicated by the
    Sweet venom of
    Her kiss, I am
    Spellbound by,
    Emerald green eyes.

    Written by: O’Della Wilson AKA Alhavakia All Rights Retained

    ©2006 Copyright
    EMERALD GREEN EYES Caught in a veil of Emerald green, I am hypnotized. As was the fly Trapped in a Spider’s web, I too, am a victim. The long dark Spider legs of Black lashes, Fluttering faster then Bumble Bee wings, Vibrate in my stomach. Nervous fear of Anticipation, Lock my eyes To her own. The dual polarity of Magnets, Emerald green Pushing me away Luring me in. The irony of Duplicity, confines me Binding the windows of My soul To her own. The sweep of Black velvet lashes, Envelop my will. Victim, I am held, Intoxicated by the Sweet venom of Her kiss, I am Spellbound by, Emerald green eyes. Written by: O’Della Wilson AKA Alhavakia All Rights Retained ©2006 Copyright
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  • A BRAIN AWRY


    She flows gracefully through the door
    back to see the doctor once more
    her third and last this week, we hope
    arms full of holes, from needle pokes

    A ritual learned well by now
    endures so much, I don’t know how
    hospital halls, we’ve walked them thin
    NICU, admitted again

    You see, they say, her brain’s awry
    must stop the seizures, before she dies
    the medicines, been through them all
    so far none work, we hit a wall

    Diets, surgeries, all have failed
    the cure for her, remains veiled
    but to give up or to relent
    we will not do, we will lament

    Until a cure, her brain made right
    no more seizures or hellish nights
    to live a life, as you or me
    for her to be, seizure free.

    I dedicated this poem to my beautiful daughter, Rose; she has the heart of a warrior!

    Written/Copyrights Retained by: O’Della Wilson AKA Alhavakia 2004
    #InspireToAspire #WordsFromTheHeartForTheSoul #Poem #Poetry #ODellaWilson #Alhavakia

    PS. This one made W.D. Snodgrass' eyes well up, as it always does to mine. I wish he would have had the opportunity to meet my daughter. I know he would have loved her spirit.
    A BRAIN AWRY She flows gracefully through the door back to see the doctor once more her third and last this week, we hope arms full of holes, from needle pokes A ritual learned well by now endures so much, I don’t know how hospital halls, we’ve walked them thin NICU, admitted again You see, they say, her brain’s awry must stop the seizures, before she dies the medicines, been through them all so far none work, we hit a wall Diets, surgeries, all have failed the cure for her, remains veiled but to give up or to relent we will not do, we will lament Until a cure, her brain made right no more seizures or hellish nights to live a life, as you or me for her to be, seizure free. I dedicated this poem to my beautiful daughter, Rose; she has the heart of a warrior! Written/Copyrights Retained by: O’Della Wilson AKA Alhavakia 2004 #InspireToAspire #WordsFromTheHeartForTheSoul #Poem #Poetry #ODellaWilson #Alhavakia PS. This one made W.D. Snodgrass' eyes well up, as it always does to mine. I wish he would have had the opportunity to meet my daughter. I know he would have loved her spirit.
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